This Wednesday is my first day off in about a month. The two days that I don’t work at Starbucks, I go to school. When I’m not at work I’m generally reading for school (or trying to get through the 800 page behemoth ‘Anna Karenina’ before the movie hits theaters), writing for school, or working out. The one thought that gets my through everything, besides thinking of Albert of course, is traveling. I’ve been lucky enough to travel pretty extensively throughout my life and it’s the one thing I can always look forward to. I yearn for that experience of being immersed completely in another culture and meeting people from all over. I love to eat weird shit that I couldn’t eat here in Florida and seeing things that most people only see pictures of in the whole life. Since I returned from Morocco, people have been asking me questions about my trip and my mom cannot stop bragging that her son rolled down a sand dune in the Sahara Desert- the sand I brought back to her is displayed in her office, begging someone to ask her about it.
I find myself consistently alone lately, telling my friends I don’t have time to do this or that. Just last week one of my best friends canceled dinner that we had planned out for about a week. I was sad not to get to hang out with him, but internally, I was relieved. I did homework until 11:30pm at which time I promptly passed out. Somehow I still did not finish all I needed to and scrambled to put my lessons together (I’m teaching 7th grade now on Monday mornings, a time I had previously scheduled to finish up my homework for the week before class). My solace from all this is the miniature mental breaks I get to take when my brain begs me to stop reading for ten fucking minutes.
My mind always dreams up these incredible vacations on these mental breaks. Currently, I’m dreaming of visiting Belgium in December, leaving the day after the fall semester ends. I’m not sure if it will actually happen or not, but planning is always fun to me. I want to get lost in Bruges, wander around the medieval buildings with my camera and sit out on the big square and write.
I love waking up at the crack of dawn, putting on some awesome music and jogging in some picturesque neighborhood, clearing my head from sleep’s nightmares and getting lost in the moment observing people waking up, getting their morning started all while the pastels of sunrise paint the sky. Nothing is more relaxing to me than that; I suggest you try it. I generally don’t return to where I’m staying until the evening. Depending on how tired I am I either sleep or go out again. I find that most cities take on a completely different tone at night, especially old cities. In the day, it looks safe and then at night a sinister haze seems to descend on everything (THE BEST example is Savannah, Georgia- that place is fucking creepy at night).
Searching through the internet for shit to do and off the ‘beaten path’ places to visit makes me want to go even more. All I need is ten minutes to find a flight and another 25 to through together a bookbag full of clothes… for the love of god I just want to say ‘fuck it all’ and go. If I didn’t have the specter of my parents telling me to be a responsible adult over my shoulder I would just go now. I’d come back to class in a couple weeks and tell my teachers, “Sorry, I couldn’t be bothered with your busy work bullshit, but here is a list of things I saw in the real world that relate directly to your class….”
Sometimes I just want to go. Right now though, my mental vacations are all I have, and the deeper I get into school the closer I get to 40 hours a week at work, the more I need and rely on them to keep my sanity.
My backpack is ready- who has a couch I can crash on? And just so I can return the favor, I totally have a couch AND a hookup at Disney/Universal 😉